on tastemaking

as modern men in a modern society, we've replaced spears with words. no longer do we employ sharpened metal, opting now for sharpened tongues. for this reason, we must never lose focus on the power our oration.

given our financial, physical, and generally esteemed position at the top of the hierarchy, people look to us for direction, particularly in the finer pursuits that require our refined sensibilities to sift through. such things as art, literature, cinema, gastronomie, enophilia (music to a far lesser extent as that is a far more plebeian avocation).

my taste in these matters of connossieurs extends beyond reproach. however, with a loose tongue, one can inadvertently undermine his own authority.

before continuing, let me address a notion rolling around the minds of my keener readers. speaking is an art form. to elevate the average reader such that he matches the level of this humble author strains plausibility, regardless of how tumescent with guidance my words may be. nothing substitutes for, nor approaches, years of proper preening.

so why even perform this exercise in frustration?

well, first, i've been blessed with patience. and second my wise words can still get you 80% of the way there. for the other 20%, well, everyone must learn to love himself, warts and all. so without further ado, improvement.

- never cite nor quote critics. by acknowledging their existence, you cede your position as the diviner of things worthy to some pompous hack whose authority -- at best -- is granted by the masthead of cursive letters in an obsolete, 19th-century font.

- similarly, dismiss "awards". oscars (popularity contest), james beard (run for years by an outright thief), pulitzers (please!). when brought up by another, respond with a single line that includes the phrase "self-congratulating bodies" and disregard all subsequent references to them.

- never qualify your recommendation by saying its the top-anything. maintain your authority to be absolute. a subtle but important lesson. by allowing that your recommendation is the top of anything leaves open the possibility that other worthwhile alternatives exist. not the case. as a tastemaker, your assertion must be beginning, middle, and denouement.

- when in doubt skew toward the less popular. while this may seem superficial, consider the mathematics behind such a position. the more commoners praise something, the more it means that entity caters to the basal sensibilities of the weakest among us. given such facts, can it be questioned that popularity and quality are polar forces?

- choose classic over new. like new money, the "hot" thing requires the use of a skeptic's eye. while i cherish my open-mindedness above most any other of my personal qualities, facts dictate the paucity of quality in this world. in this world which contains hyperbole and novelty in such great proportion to actual substance, we cannot help but attribute the "latest and greatest" to these two things. invariably the shine dulls, and once again we find ourselves staring down at yet another failed entrant to our world.